Timing is Everything

Do you ever have a moment when you realize you are exactly where you’re supposed to be?

On my way back from Mexico, I stopped in Florida to see my grandparents and work from home for a few days. I took a quick break between conference calls yesterday so I could drive my grandma to the hair salon so she didn't have to drive herself. As I was driving us home, my mind wandered over to the fact that I wish I had taken Delta up on their offer to change my ticket to stay one extra day in Mexico (because I would be on the beach that very moment). My thought ended there. As I merged into the inside lane of a 6-lane highway, I felt everything in my grandma’s car lock and I no longer had engine power or control of the steering wheel. I instinctually pulled the parking break and saw Nana lunge forward as we came to a dead stop in the middle of the lunchtime commute. I paused, looked at her and asked if she was okay. When she nodded yes, I immediately went into overdrive. No pun intended (okay, that was kind of intentional).

My initial concern was to get Nana out of the car before someone rear ended us, but I knew I couldn’t get her across three lanes of traffic at 87 years old – especially with cars whizzing past us. Then I saw her hair stylist drive by (presumably on her lunch break too). I thanked my lucky stars that I had her cell number and called her to ask if she would pick up Nana. Kaitlyn didn't even hesitate to turn around to help us. She stopped behind us in the middle of the road, helped me walk Nana alongside traffic and into her car. She drove her back to the salon to wait safely away from the whizzing cars and 90° heat. I've probably taken Nan to see Kaitlyn 15+ times but have only had brief conversations with her during the intermission of hairdryers. It just shows how you should never estimate the importance of those small moments spent connecting with others. My primary concern was removing Nan from the situation, and Kaitlyn lifted a huge burden off my shoulders. Not to mention, her coworkers kept Nana company (and apparently fed her cookies) all afternoon while she waited for me to return for her. I'm incredibly thankful for Kaitlyn.

From here, I called roadside assistance and remained buckled in my seatbelt. Then I immediately became frustrated. Even though I live 1,300 miles away, I consider myself to be a caregiver for my grandparents and always subconsciously operate with them in mind. I realized that calling roadside assistance in this day and age is tailored for someone with a smart phone. I tried to bypass the automated system multiple times to speak with a real person simply to understand if my grandmother would have been able to navigate the system had I not been there, but to no avail. Nan may have been able to figure out how to type her insurance policy number into her flip phone (which she didn't have yesterday...), but would have hung up once the automated system told her to "drop a pin so the tow truck knows where to go." I wrote them an email to ask for a better experience for older generations in crisis, and while I understand these situations are the exception and not the rule, I appreciate Karla on their support team who responded to me.

Thirty minutes into waiting for a tow, I tried to start the car again because I couldn’t stand the thought of it getting hit just stalled in the road. It started. I let the engine run for five minutes before trying to cross three lanes of traffic and onto a side street. The car only cleared one lane before it died again – now perpendicularly blocking two lanes of traffic. This time, I did not wait in the car and darted over to the other side of the road. Thankfully three cars stopped (or had to because I was blocking their lane), and used their cars as a barrier for mine so they could help me. One man managed to unlock the steering wheel and we pushed the car into a single lane. I wish that I asked them their names, but a big thank you to those gentlemen.

An officer pulled over quickly thereafter and stayed with me until Carlos from the tow company arrived. Carlos spoke very little English but I understood (despite my rusty Spanish skills) when he offered to give me a ride. As he boosted me up into his truck, I couldn’t help but think what my grandma would have done because she does not have the agility to scale a 12-foot truck. Would the cop have taken her somewhere? Would a stranger have offered her a ride? Or more realistically, would Nana still be sitting in a hot car trying to figure out what to do without her flip phone? Would she have risked trying to get out of the car to flag someone down? Or would she have even been able to stop the car when the engine failed?

On my drive with Carlos to the auto shop, my grandfather called. He had the flip phone and was driving around in their old '91 Ford F-150 looking for Nana because she had called to tell him what happened but he had no idea where the hair salon was. Because, of course, we take for granted how easy it is for us to use Google Maps, but he was just trying to find her based on landmarks near the salon. I asked him to go home because I couldn't handle thinking about my narcoleptic grandfather driving around worried -- and I just needed both of them to be safe. The tone of that phone call was probably more distraught than I intended and I quietly whispered "lo siento" to Carlos. Despite our language barrier, he gave me a knowing nod, a warm smile and a Coca Cola. Thank you, Carlos.

I quickly shifted out of panic mode and into "getting things done" work mode. I met with a mechanic, then ordered a Lyft to take me from the auto shop to the airport so I could rent a car and pick Nan up. It had now been almost 4 hours since we left the hair salon and as I passed by the spot where the engine stalled, Nana rang me on my cell phone. Although I had called the salon's receptionist to check on Nan, I hadn't clarified where I was -- and she had been sitting there worrying if I was still stranded in the middle of the highway. She couldn't remember my cell phone number to call me back, but she remembered that she had my very first business card (from 2011) somewhere in her Mary Poppins purse. She said that searching for the business card preoccupied her mind from worry for a bit, so thanks to that ratty old card. I picked her up and drove her home to have tacos because that is what is you do after a day like yesterday. 

...

She knocked on my door at midnight last night and said through the door, "Thanks for saving my bacon today, honey." That's Nana: direct, insightful and witty.

I was almost not in Florida yesterday. I had many reasons to stay in Mexico – and Delta even waived the fee to change my ticket. But I flew to Florida as planned. The engine of their car was going to stall yesterday. I don't know who would have been driving or if they would have been together, and frankly, I don't want to think about how bad it could have been.

Do you ever have those moments when you feel unbelievably grateful to be exactly where you are? Me too.